The Gift
As a child Laurence N. Kaldor dreamed of joining the Air Force to serve his country, as his father had done in the Air National Guard. However, in 1984 at the age of 16 years old, he experienced a devastating airplane crash that would dramatically alter the course of his life.
In his book The Gift, Laurence chronicles his prolonged hospitalisation, the heart-wrenching death of his beloved father who was the pilot, the loss of his right eye, and his left leg.
Laurence shares his journey of overcoming the loss of a limb. The initial years of his recovery - involving over 100 surgeries - were filled with physical hardship, including a gruelling battle with drug dependency. As a new amputee, he worked multiple jobs to afford his education, battling the discomfort of an ill-fitting prosthetic - a simple metal bar with a block for a foot.
He is now an attorney and has served over 12 years as a Superior Court Judge Pro Tem. In his spare time, he has volunteered for over twenty years as a litigator fighting for victims of domestic violence in New York and California.
In the entertainment industry he has enjoyed a career as a multi-award-winning independent feature filmmaker, producer, director, actor, stand-up comic, author, and screen writer.
"Everyone – everything – has a purpose! Unfortunately, many are simply unaware. I was no different. Early on my journey purpose was revealed through the murky miasma of an agonizingly traumatic ordeal – my struggle to survive an airplane crash.
Life, in its essence, is a journey marked by transitions – moments that separate the before from the after, the known from the unknown. Yet, seldom do these transitions manifest as vividly as they did for me, in an ordeal that straddled the thin fabric between life and death. Serendipitously, I was then afforded keen, divine insights while simultaneously pushing me to the brink of physical and emotional insanity. My odyssey is not merely about surviving a catastrophic plane crash but about the profound journey of self-discovery and the unearthing of purpose that ensued. It's a testament to the idea that even in our darkest moments, there is light – a purpose waiting to be discovered. And I suppose the bigger question is whether you can discover yours without undergoing my level of torment.
THE PRELUDE TO TRANSFORMATION
The plane crash served as the dramatic prelude to my transformation. As we navigated through the storm, a palpable sense of calm enveloped me – a premonition of survival against all odds. But also, a preliminary insight into the relative passage of time and the notion that there was “more.” The experienced calm, and revelation of “more” was not born of ignorance but of an inexplicable knowing that the ordeal was a necessary passage, a gateway to understanding life’s deeper truths.
During the chaotic and terrifying descent, cast about by nature's wrath, time appeared to stretch infinitely (and suggested that its passage was not linear). The impending disaster became a canvas for reflection, painting a picture of my life in stark contrast to the immediate danger. My stalwart father, hands steadily affixed to the controls, symbolized an unwavering resolve. He would challenge fate. Yet, as the ground rushed towards us, the fragile veneer of control crumbled, revealing the profound vulnerability of human existence. Our mortality. My mortality.
THE HEART OF DARKNESS
The aftermath of the crash plunged me into an abyss where physical pain and existential quandary became perpetual companions. Confined to a hospital bed, my body a labyrinth of injuries, the battle I waged transcended physical survival – it was a quest for meaning amidst the suffering.
This period of enforced solitude was a crucible, transforming pain and despair into catalysts for introspection. Questions of identity and purpose, once abstract musings or merely beyond my immature adolescent comprehension, demanded my attention with newfound urgency. The isolation, the silence, became the stage for a profound internal dialogue, challenging me to confront the essence of my being.
Within the abyss divine insight was revealed. There was “more.” More to my existence. More life. More me. Within the isolated blackness, I was not alone. I had never been and would never be alone. Despite my physical and emotional torment, there was some grand, vast power or energy that provided me immense and virtually unimaginable comfort. I was not alone.
THE DAWNING OF THE LIGHT
From the depths of despair, clarity began to emerge, illuminating the path to understanding. The realization that survival was but the beginning of a more significant journey marked a pivotal moment in my odyssey. The crash, with its legacy of destruction and fear, morphed into a beacon of opportunity – an invitation to redefine my existence.
And once again divine insight was revealed. I was provided a clear choice – continue on my journey in this terrestrial life or entertain safe passage to existence on the other side. An awareness of the past, present and future…and beyond. An awareness of the gift of every moment of every moment of every moment. However, the overall message was clear – if I decided to remain on my human journey, it would require focus, resolve and purpose.
This newfound awareness revealed that such purpose was intricately tied not to the ambitions I had harbored in my youth or the accolades I sought but to the simple yet profound act of living with intention. It was an epiphany that underscored the intrinsic value of each moment and the power of compassion as the foundation for a meaningful life. The awareness was the importance of living life in service of others and appreciating where these moments (these gifts) came from.
THE REVELATION OF PURPOSE
Emerging from the shadows of my ordeal, I was reborn with a clarity of purpose that transcended my previous understanding of success and fulfillment. Stripped of pretenses and superficial desires, I found my calling in the realm of service, empathy, and impact.
One of the most important insights was that “the choice” was not merely “life or death.” But rather if I chose “life,” that I was the one responsible for the direction. I was the one steering my own metaphorical ship. No one else. And with the newfound ability to jump ahead farther downstream (recognizing that the past and potential future were all here in the present), if I wasn’t pleased with where I was going, I merely needed to change course. I was the captain of my own destiny.
This realization was a gradual awakening, a truth forged in the crucible of my darkest moments. It became evident that sharing my journey, with its vulnerabilities and lessons, could serve as a source of inspiration for others. My purpose crystallized into a commitment to advocate for resilience, to offer hope to those navigating their storms, and to champion the cause of intentional living.
THE JOURNEY FORGES ON
Today, my journey from the precipice of death to a life infused with purpose is a narrative of hope and resilience. It stands as a testament to the indomitable human spirit and the transformative power of adversity. "The Gift" is more than my story; it's a reflection of the universal quest for meaning amid life's tumultuous seas.
As I navigate this continuing journey, the lessons learned in those moments of existential peril remain my guiding light. They remind me of the fragility of life, the imperative to live each day with purpose and love, and the importance of gratitude to the Higher Power that makes it all possible.
In sharing this expanded narrative, my aim transcends recounting a tale of personal survival. It is to kindle a flame of self-discovery in you, the reader, encouraging you to find your light within the darkness, your purpose amongst the chaos. Let my experience be a compass, guiding you towards the realization that within the struggle lies the potential for growth, within the torment lies the promise of rebirth.
May my odyssey inspire your journey, illuminating the path towards finding your purpose in the eye of life's storms. Thankfully you do not need to experience my level of anguish. You have your own trials, your own struggles, and your own share of personal suffering. We all do! Remember, the tapestry of your life is woven with threads of trials and triumphs, and it's within your power to craft a masterpiece of meaning and fulfillment. You indicate the direction of your journey in fulfillment of your purpose. Ultimately, the choice is yours!"
Laurence is happily married with two daughters.
