Squash Falconer was the first British woman to climb and paraglide from the summit of Mont Blanc, having ridden there from the UK on her motorbike. She is a multi-record-breaking adventurer, mountaineer and keynote speaker, sharing her extreme adventures, from summiting Mount Everest to becoming the world’s highest ever bumboarder.
I was 15, I sat by my grandmother’s bedside, she wasn’t conscious, but she seemed to respond to me gently wiping her dry lips with a cotton bud by opening and closing her mouth on it when I asked her questions. She knew I was there; I knew she knew I was there. I held her hand, stroked her forehead and whispered on repeat how much I loved her.
After 23 hours, her breathing slowed, she sat up in bed, pulled me close and peacefully died in my arms.
Growing up on a farm with my sister, surrounded by family and animals, I had a happy childhood, though it was complicated by divorces, feuds and some violence. I adored my grandmother; she was a huge part of my world. She had suffered in her life; I was acutely aware of her pain and wanting to make it go away and to make her better. I was little though and couldn’t fix things. I clung to the hope I often heard, “It’ll all be alright in the end.”
Leaving the hospital, I couldn’t shake the thought: it wasn’t alright in the end. Her life had been full of pain and unresolved struggles. In that moment, I decided I couldn’t change her past, but I could take control of my own life and dedicate myself to helping others improve theirs.
The Power of Love
One of the greatest gifts my parents gave me was unconditional love. Sure, there were difficult times and uncertainty but having a foundation of love and acceptance was an incredible place to start from and that has been a privilege I have never taken for granted.
So, when I told my parents I was off to do something - which ranged from: working a winter in a ski resort at 18, climbing Mount Everest, filming an adventure travel documentary in South America, flying from the top of Mont Blanc or attempting a world record for furthest distance on an elliptical trainer, an ElliptoGo – my ideas were always met with support.
Whilst travelling in Canada I met someone who told me I must read Shantaram and I did, just the first paragraph.
“It took me a long time and most of the world to learn what I know about love and fate and the choices we make, but the heart of it came to me in an instant, while I was chained to a wall and being tortured. I realised, somehow, through the screaming of my mind, that even in that shackled, bloody helplessness, I was still free: free to hate the men who were torturing me, or to forgive them. It doesn’t sound like much, I know. But in the flinch and bite of the chain, when it’s all you’ve got, that freedom is a universe of possibility. And the choice you make between hating and forgiving, can become the story of your life.”
Reading this paragraph resonated with me in a way I hadn’t expected. The words were so powerful. I was someone who already took responsibility for my life but I don’t think I had realised just how completely free I was. We all are. And in that freedom really is a universe of possibility.
The sky isn’t the limit
I did a lot of stuff, a lot of cool stuff. I got involved fund raising for charities. I figured out how to live on very little. I travelled the world. I climbed mountains, rode motorbikes, flew paragliders - sometimes all in one adventure. Unbeknown to me at the time, I became the first British woman to fly from the summit of Mont Blanc, having climbed the mountain after riding to the foot of it from the UK on a motorbike. That trip was really significant. It was the culmination of three dreams I had and it was also the door to me becoming an “adventurer” and my speaking career.
Seeing Mont Blanc daily, when I did my first ski season in the Alps at 18, set me off day dreaming, that climbing it one day would be ‘a cool thing to do’. But I wasn’t a mountaineer and that was something other people did. Growing up on a farm gave me a love of motorbikes and I couldn’t wait to take my test when I was older and maybe do a road trip to the South of France. When I learned to fly a paraglider, I thought to myself, ‘This would be a cool way to get down from a high mountain’. Not long before I turned 30, I was talking to a good friend and I’d mentioned these day dreams to him. We came up with an idea, do them all together! Ride a motorbike to the South of France, stop off at Mont Blanc, climb it, then fly off the top. Perfect.
Despite having no one to do it with, no motorbike, no paraglider and no money, I set about making it happen.
I called my friend Irwyn, the guy who taught me to paraglide, he agreed to do it with me. I went to see the BBC, I told them BMW motorbikes and Ozone paragliders were behind the trip, the entire thing was organised and I would definitely be able to do it. I then went to see BMW motorbikes I told them the BBC were making a program about me, Ozone paragliders were behind the trip, the entire thing was organised and I would definitely be able to do it. With just a few days to go before I intended to set off BMW agreed to lend me a motorbike, Ozone paragliders had already agreed to loan me a lightweight paraglider and the BBC said, we can’t really be involved for health and safety reasons but we can lend you a video camera and you can see how you get on.
No one was more shocked than me that we did it. Finding out afterwards I was the first British woman to successfully fly from the summit was the icing on the cake. More than anything this trip taught me, anything was possible, well, certainly trying was. I also realised we don’t do anything alone, we do it together. I couldn’t have done any of the things I was doing without other people.
The BBC bought my footage and made a short program. The story got some media attention and as a result, I was invited to speak about my adventure. Public speaking was not on my list of things to do. Crippled with anxiety, regretting all my life choices, standing up in front of 300+ people turned out to be harder than climbing any mountain. But, as I already knew, the magic happens outside of our comfort zone. And it turned out my talk had a positive impact. People seemed to be entertained, motivated and inspired.
I climbed more mountains after that, including Mt Everest. Reaching the top of the world’s highest mountain not being enough, I was also attempting to be the first woman in the world to fly from the summit. That goal, on paper, was a failure. I didn’t fly off! But just like with any goal or target, when we don’t reach it, lessons can be learned and you can still acknowledge what was achieved and push forward in new ways. I still reached the summit of the world’s highest mountain and there were other challenges that lay ahead.
Life Lessons
Mountains taught me so much and filled my toolkit with tools that I could apply to everyday life that would help me to both survive and thrive. I weaved these messages into my talks and coaching so that I could share my learnings with others too.
I realised early on through my experiences and adventuring that doing things alone was ok, but doing things with and for others really filled my heart and made any experience so much fuller, better, brighter and bigger.
I’ve been fortunate to travel to many different places. Cultures and situations change but deep-down people are just people. We share the same hopes, fears and vulnerabilities and here’s what I know –
A smile breaks down a thousand barriers.
You can almost always leave something better than you found it.
When you’re stuck, just start, do something, anything, you can course correct on the way.
The work will teach you. The work also never stops.
Be grateful for all of it, there’s a lesson in everything.
Look for the good in any situation... and you’ll likely find some.
My grandma dying in my arms, coming down from the summit of Mt Everest when I didn’t think I had it in me and a few years later giving birth to my daughter, Kit, stripped everything away to all that really matters. Love.
That is my purpose, to love. To guide and help people through their own life challenges, be that a difficult day or a massive mountain. Love is the greatest motivator and inspiration for us all to be our best selves.
Squash Falconer is a motivational and inspirational Speaker, a high performance and mindset coach
www.squashfalconer.com
