Finding your purpose
Tom Clowes is a professional speaker. He has climbed Everest with his brother Ben, flown his powered paraglider into the Venezuelan jungle, ridden his Penny Farthing the length of the Outer Hebrides and his unicycle along the South Downs Way.
"The world is full of endless opportunities and adventures. Reflecting on my journey, I have realized that life unfolds in distinct chapters, each bringing me closer to understanding my true purpose. Some people never truly find their purpose, but it is important for us all to keep searching. Everyone’s purpose in life is different and it depends upon our beliefs, values and personal experiences. True happiness and contentment comes from meaningful relationships, fulfilling experiences, and a sense of purpose, none of which can be bought with money.
Chapter 1 - Growing up in the 1970’s with my younger brother Ben, was idyllic. We spent our days climbing trees, playing in the haystacks, flying homemade kites, roller skating or riding our bicycles. Life felt endless and uncomplicated. Our only goal was to have fun and we were truly happy and carefree.
My teenage years marked Chapter 2. We were sent to different schools which was challenging for me. Generally, I did not enjoy Boarding School, but I loved Games, as it was called back then. My purpose then was to get in all the teams. I rowed and we won the Putney Town Regatta, I played for the 2nd XV Rugby, was in the Athletics squad and was later made Captain of our House Cross Country running squad which we won. Academics was not my strong point but I did love making things in Metalwork and Carpentry and French was another subject that I liked, perhaps because we spent a lot of time in France. With a French mother, I speak French and have Dual-Nationality.
Chapter 3 began after school when I moved to France to work and study before embarking on an adventure to work on farms in Australia and New Zealand. I hitch-hiked my way around and slept in a ‘swag’ sleeping under the stars to save money. I travelled on my own and this taught me the importance of getting on with people and the kindness of strangers. I had no trouble finding casual work. I picked rock melons in the blistering heat in Kununurra in North-Western Australia, worked on sheep stations and polo ranches in New South Wales, went diving on the Great Barrier Reef and sailed around the Whitsunday Islands in North-Eastern Australia. After 8 months I returned to England and my mother noted that I had gone away as a boy and come back a man! My purpose whilst away had been to stay healthy, to take every opportunity and to experience new things.
The next Chapter took me to the University of the West of England where I studied International Business Studies with Spanish. I learnt how to play the guitar and spent a lot of time surfing. I wanted to go to South America in my third year but ended up going to Madrid instead to study and to work in an Advertising Agency. I lived with a couple of Spaniards, I played a lot of tennis on the clay, I travelled around Spain visiting wild places like Los Picos de Europa in Asturias, Northern Spain. It was here that I discovered my love for mountains and wild places. After a glorious year in Spain, I came back to Bristol and graduated at the end of my fourth year.
After the excitement of University, I found myself in Chapter 5, uncertain about my next steps. I became a bicycle courier in London which got me extremely fit but it was quite risky and I had a couple of close calls before I gave up. I joined the TA selection course to join the SAS 21 Regiment and got down to the last five men before realising that it was not for me. I became extremely fit and strong, and the course had taught me how to keep going physically, and that most doubts are stuck in the mind.
I then found a job working for a company that did up office interiors. This did not make me happy, so I found a job in a sports sponsorship company which I enjoyed. I helped run team-building courses around the country. This involved orienteering, canoeing, running, solving puzzles as a team – all the things I love. I also worked at the Wimbledon Tennis Tournament for Robinsons Barley Water, but I was then made redundant suddenly. I started working for an Australian Travel company but, after the 9/11 bombings, I was once again made redundant.
I became lost for a while, until my friend, Geoffrey, asked if my brother and I wanted to join him on a Himalayan Expedition to climb a mountain called Ama Dablam, a stunningly beautiful mountain that was once described by Sir Edmund Hilary as ‘unclimbable’. It was a trip that would completely change my outlook on life.
There were 10 of us on the expedition and we had the whole mountain to ourselves. It was a winter climb on mixed snow, rock and ice. It was very exposed and exciting in parts. Our leader was the late Iñaki Ochoa de Olza who became a dear friend of mine. Only three of us managed to reach the summit – Geoffrey, Iñaki and myself. From the top, I remember looking over towards Everest and vowing that I would one day stand on its summit.
This expedition had freed something inside me. The Himalayas and the people had all made me feel alive. They had made my soul sing. Nothing else seemed to matter and I could think of nothing else.
Iñaki tragically died on Annapurna several years later in 2008 and this affected me deeply. We went on to climb peaks such as Mont Blanc and the Matterhorn in the Alpes, Aconcagua in South America, Elbrus in Southern Russia – all without guides as we had little money. For me, raising money for charity was important, so for each mountain we attempted, we chose a different charity to give back to. This had become a strong part of my purpose. I believe that helping others and giving back along the way is essential.
Chapter 6 found me working as a painter and decorator living with my brother Ben in London. We were attempting to become the first British brothers to stand on the summit of Everest together and, through a friend, we secured Hewlett Packard as our main sponsor. It took us two attempts to climb the mountain – the first was from the northern side in Tibet where we had to retreat in a storm in 2004 and our second attempt was from the southern side in Nepal when reached the top on 18th May, 2006.
I felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. My brother was less fortunate losing four toes to frostbite which was definitely not part of the plan.
When I proposed to Diana and she said yes, Chapter 7 began. This marked the beginning of truly discovering my purpose. We quickly had two children, Sebastian and Daisy, and we threw ourselves into family life and teaching them all sorts of things. It was, and continues to be, a magical time. Climbing mountains, in many ways, was a little selfish – except for the charity aspect. I now had to change and focus my efforts 100% on my family. I needed to earn some money, so I started up a small building company and ran teams of tradesmen in London to fit kitchens and bathrooms, lofts and extensions.
We moved out of London in 2009 and bought a wreck of a cottage which we repaired. I planted trees and hedges, built fences and garage doors. Diana and I taught the children how to ride bicycles, we camped and went canoeing and fishing. Diana taught them to ride ponies and I taught them how to rides unicycles and to play conkers. It became our purpose to let the children have a memorable childhood and to teach them important values and morals whilst not wrapping them up in cotton wool. Becoming a father has also taught me valuable lessons, for example, Daisy has shown me the art of giving a proper hug, Diana has highlighted the significance of animals and Sebastian has demonstrated that everyone possesses a creative side.
In 2010, I organised a small expedition to fly powered paragliders into remote townships in the Gran Sabana in Venezuela. We were testing computer gear for Hewlett Packard. It was a paid job, which made it easier to justify, and it gave me similar feelings to my climbing exploits. This time was different though as I had responsibilities back home and it was wonderful to have a family to return to.
Chapter 8 unfolded with the onset of COVID-19, which caused my building company to falter as we were unable to work in people’s homes for a time. I took casual work on a farm and worked for a tree surgeon before learning how to shape topiary as a gardener. It was difficult but in my new roles I saw the real kindness of people shine through. I also saw those others who wanted something for nothing. It is in these hard times that it helped to have a purpose. I needed to get up each day to keep earning money for my family and I needed to feel useful.
After COVID-19, when we were allowed out again, I decided that a new challenge was needed. My father had died from Prostate Cancer and so I wanted to purposely do something in aid of this disease. I decided to unicycle the entire length of the South Downs Way. My father had always wanted to run this route but I wanted to do it on one wheel. I met many kind people and managed to raise £7,215. I became very emotional when my family came to greet me at the end of day two. It took me three days to ride the 100 mile path from Eastbourne to Winchester. My aim and purpose was not only to complete the route which I found extremely arduous, but also to raise as much as I could for Prostate Cancer UK. I still ride the unicycle as it gives me time to think – I am usually ‘walking’ the dog at the same time!
Chapter 9 began with the import of a Penny Farthing from Sweden, leading to an unexpected adventure playing Polo for England against Scotland! In 2023 I took it to the Outer Hebrides and cycled the entire length of these hauntingly beautiful islands all in aid of the Stroke Association raising a total of £15,299. The kindness and warmth of the locals touched me beyond belief. I found this an incredibly positive and uplifting experience.
I still run my little building company, but I have now made it my purpose to grow my Speaking Business and to inspire global organisations with stories to illustrate the importance of building resilient teams, effective collaboration and communication, accountability and integrity as well as self-belief and moving out of your comfort zone. I also speak about the importance of being healthy as well as being kind, generous and thoughtful to each other.
If you are still searching for your purpose then I would suggest…
(i) Love your family and friends and spend as much time with them as possible,
(ii) Keep trying new things and exploring new cultures,
(iii) Keep sharing and giving back.
Mark Twain summed it up when he said, 'The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why!'"
https://www.linkedin.com/in/tomclowes/
